Hello there

I find myself needing to write. I am not sure of the words only the feelings.  This last year was good in so many ways. I went back to sharing an office with people i enjoy. Work for the most part is good and getting better. My life is a blessed one full of love and good people. I am loved everyday by a wonderful man who has helped me to find myself, no excuses, no walls.

But there is that one thing. My daughter is still choosing to keep me out of her life. Refusing to even acknowledge even holiday texts. Basic human decency has left her. It rips out my heart, but my hands are tied.

I am trying and yes trying is the word. to let it go to find my peace with the situation. It will take time, and i will survive. Even though i have had a few moments when i just wanted to drive off the mountain and have the pain stop. But that would only end it for me and cause so much pain for those in my life who do love me. So i put on my big girl pants, found a smile and cried in the quiet darkness.

Life is truly about finding the joy in the moments and living in that joy. The world is full of black nothingness but i will not live there. I will find the light and live there. I have no desire to hide in the shadows again. So for now i am sending my girl all of the love the world has and hope she finds her own path to the sunshine.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: