Chameleon ch.2

Teacher was never in a rush. Pushing was counter productive. As much as some of her students tantalize her, they were not here for her pleasure. She was here to help them find their way, to discover for themselves their sexual path. This one made her hungry. She had raw untapped sexuality just under the surface.

Her student was barely holding it in. Proper was the word that rang in her ears. When teacher had her change clothes she nearly lost control. Just the brush of fingers on her bare skin made her sex ache and pulse, and moisten. She was sure her excitement could be smelled. It frightened her but made her only want more.

Absent mindedly the students fingers brushed back and forth across her chest. It sparked nerve endings that set off a fire storm in her body. She No longer heard the words Teacher spoke. Her eyes willed the buttons that strained under Teachers full bust to burst open. She silently licked her lips as she watched Teachers red pump dangle from perfectly manicured toes.

Teacher watched her student as they spoke. Her words and body no longer in sync. It was clear that the time has come. Learning forward caused her button to finally surrender to the pressure. The pop caused both to laugh, easing the silent tension. Taking her students hands in hers she looked into her eyes and asked” do you want to touch me?”

As she exhaled the deepest sigh ever,the student felt the release of fear and whispered “yes please”. Easing closer together on the couch,her student reached up and traced the outline of her teachers face. Her eyes questioned her own movements, she was uncertain, she begged for directions.

Being the wise teacher she could read her students eyes, feel the uncertain hunger in her touch. It was time to show her the path and nudge her when necessary. Lifting her chin she gently kissed her students perfectly pouting lips. Gentle at first, letting the hunger rise with each touch. She did not lead the pace but let her pupil unknowingly take the lead. Her roll was not to direct but be a safe place for her student to explore.

Kissing led to tentative touching. Fingertips set on fire with desire. Which allowed her student to slide past her mental block and fall headlong into her deep hidden carnal desires. No words were needed. Permission had already been granted for her pupil to go wherever her passion took them.

Undressing was soft and slow, allowing each to explore. It was the first time her student had not only seen but been able to touch another woman. She did not want to miss anything. She kissed and licked and sucked at her teachers breasts. They were soft and heavy in her hands. So entranced by them she almost did not want to move on. Once naked her teacher made her stop and stand naked in front of the mirror. You need to see your beauty, her teacher said. Above all else know your value. This is your flesh to use as you wish. It is not an idle playground. But you are a temple to worship whether you share yourself with a man or woman. As she stood there She saw her beauty, she felt the power she held, and in that moment she became herself.

Turning the student took the lead, placing one hand behind the teachers waist and the other in the soft wetness of her teachers cunt. Her fingers sliding in and out of her mound. She felt powerful as the moans of want escaped teachers lips. She led her to the couch and once there began licking gently at the wet pulsing pussy before her. It was tentative to begin,but soon she was lost in the aroma and taste. She did not want to quit, but teacher new better. Your turn my dear was her directive. She started to panic,no one had ever touched her much less licked her. Her body betrayed her completely as teachers tongue skilfully tasted her. In an instant she came. Her body rolling with pleasure and shame. Her head trying to take from her the joy of her first lesbian orgasm. Tears escaped as she felt shame at her own desire.

Teacher scooped her into her arms and held her. Letting her ride the emotions. Here you were encouraged to feel everything so you made educated choices. As her tears subsided teacher asked,”do you wish to continue?” “Again please” was the answer.

The night rolled into one orgasm after another as her student gave and received. Each one teaching her more about her own body and what felt good and what she did not enjoy. It gave her words to go with her desire. It gave her power because knowledge is power. Eventually exhausted, teacher dressed her student and called her a taxi. As they waited they talked about the possibility of future lessons. But teacher encouraged her to find like minded friends and to embrace what ever sexual choices she felt moved by. Kissing her goodby she smiled because she had just witnessed the birth of a woman.

Lessons will follow. I am not a writer. I am a story teller. So please excuse the errors. I am not hung up on perfection. Nothing in life is….

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Being a sexual chameleon

Damn, she sighed, why am I even awake? After last night I should be sound asleep until at least noon. She smiled thinking about the night before. Her job was, far from normal. It was not what her family might have chosen for her, in fact if they knew they would lose their minds, but she loved it.

It took some time for her to find her to calling. After years of a discontented marriage, a career that she loved but was ready to walk away from, and finally becoming comfortable in her own skin she realized something. She likes sex! No this was not a surprise. She had always liked sex but she had also always had this fascination with roleplay. The older she got the more she realized that everyone had that something that made them tick. That thing that made their engine rev like nothing else. It had started out innocently enough she read tons of stories she played with a few friends mostly she was navigating herself trying on different personas to see what stuck. She knew that honestly she what’s a cock sucker okay maybe a pussy licker to but she loved giving oral like nothing else. it literally caused her body to stream like a fountain and whatever was underneath her was going to have a puddle.

After some time and great word of mouth she began to accumulate quite a following. She hated the word client. It sounded so formal. What happened here was an exploration of one’s sexual self. She helped people explore and find their own sexual self.

Everyone was different. Some were dominant, others submissive. There were pets, babies,cos players. Players, and virgins. Some wanted to explore bisexuality, anal play or bondage. Her favorite were the couple’s exploring the art of sharing. It always amazed her how little people really new about their own sexual desires. And how hard they found it to talk about what they wanted. And yet she knew that there was a difference between sex during exploration and the sexual connectivity with that someone special. Even she lost her words with her King. Her desire was to please him. Often she felt she fell short. Ugh… Helping others explore was always easier. She lost herself in the play. Becoming what they needed seemed easy. It was exhilarating to dive into conversation with a client, to pick out what they would not admit to, but secretly wanted. To help them find their words and to then put it into action. To perform their desires like a passion play. She became a sexual chameleon, morphing into what ever was needed.

Last night had been long and slow. A younger woman who had never been active and was torn with lesbian cravings. Her body was at war with her clerical upbringing. They talked for hours about faith and desire. About finding one’s own space and peace. She had chosen her outfit with great care. A pencil skirt, classic red pumps, and a silk button down blouse. Authoritative with an edge. Her bust strained at the buttons. Red lace bra peaked out and matched her cheeky boy short lace panties. They were soft to the touch and created hunger to the eyes. Her young client was clearly uncomfortable in her own skin as she wore leggings, slip on shoes and a shapeless sweater. Nothing about her screamed sex, it did not even whisper. A visit to the closet was step one. Favorite colors found. Fabrics that enticed her fingertips. A short shift dress that grazed a soft thigh, and a deeply v’d neck line that showed the full upper curve of pert young breasts. Bare feet and an ankle chain were the perfect combination. Innocent but flirty.

The teacher and student taking each step as it came. Clothes, hair, makeup,perfume,how to walk and sit. How to listen with interest when someone spoke. Learning to lean in, the magic of a properly timed touch. It is true that some of it was not necessary, but they were painting a canvas, setting the scene for her young student. A place where she felt comfortable and confident. Where she could let herself feel rather than think.

There was more to come. Just what? I guess you will have to check back in to see.

red lipstick

She stood in  front of the bathroom mirror, an array of makeup in front of her. Most days she looked in that mirror and thought, Not bad for an old broad. some days she was grateful for the war paint, for it covered a multitude. Today was weird, she was stuck somewhere in between. The black dress hugged her every curve, heels in a height appropriate for work adorned her feet. the makeup was good, and the hair was rocking. Today only a few specks of grey showed reminding her she was not 20, but she was not dead either.

Looking in the mirror she kept hunting for that thing to make her sparkle today, she smiled and knew exactly what it was, red lipstick. Now to find the right shade, the one to decide if she was a goddess or if she was the wicked woman on the street corner. She had them all. picking her way through each tube she was waiting for inspiration.

Finally she found it, blood red, as if you had just severed an artery and watched it pool on the floor.The color of life, strength, power and lust. She put it on slowly, delibertly.

Looking up in the mirror at the full effect the smiled. Soft chocolate color on the eyes, a hint of pink on her cheeks, soflty smoothing away the years. But those lips… The smile that went from sweet an innocent to wicked and naughty. She caught herself biting her lip and wondering how may times through the day would someone have their own private thought about those red lips. How many men would wonder what they tasted like, or what they would look like wrapped around his cock. Or how many women would wonder if the red of her lipstick would tint the lips of her pussy as she licked it.

She knew that in life you were either someones cup of tea or not. Today she wanted to be someones Jack and coke. Better yet someones Crown on the rocks. That sweet slow burn that made you feel alive. Just one more glance in the mirror. Those red lips.. they look so much better when you smile, so she did. And with that she went off into the world. Her head held high, a sway in her hips as she walked and the slight glint of a dare in her eyes.

Where did she go?

Life gets in the way, the every day of it all. Trust me when i say i love my life. It is filled to the brim with goodness, but i think my sex goddess is in hibernation.

I try every day to look good. there are no sweat pants and baggy t shirts. Parfume and makeup are in attendance often. I have cute under clothes and they do not just live in the drawer. But i fear that my dirty girl fire is missing, not missing just not sparked. I have not written in some time. I watch porn on occasion and think ” that was nice” and then go back to the dishes. I haven’t read any erotica in some time. I need that sexual energy boost in the worst way. I fear that my lack of fire is killing my ability to entice my man. We are just different and i wonder if it is me. Did i just become Martha Stewart. Where is my inner porn star? Another birthday is around the corner and 48 sounds old to me for some reason. I cant keep enough color on my grey hair. Hell i ordered bifocals to go in my fishing gear for god’s sake.

I know it is all just in my head. I know that i am loved but i fear that i am not always desired. Lord knows that we have the busiest lives and that things happen but i have a hard time shaking the ever nagging fear that…..

time to breath deep and sort this shit out because i want to be wanted and if i cant get past the blockage in my own brain then there is no way he can get past it either.

 

Hello there

I find myself needing to write. I am not sure of the words only the feelings.  This last year was good in so many ways. I went back to sharing an office with people i enjoy. Work for the most part is good and getting better. My life is a blessed one full of love and good people. I am loved everyday by a wonderful man who has helped me to find myself, no excuses, no walls.

But there is that one thing. My daughter is still choosing to keep me out of her life. Refusing to even acknowledge even holiday texts. Basic human decency has left her. It rips out my heart, but my hands are tied.

I am trying and yes trying is the word. to let it go to find my peace with the situation. It will take time, and i will survive. Even though i have had a few moments when i just wanted to drive off the mountain and have the pain stop. But that would only end it for me and cause so much pain for those in my life who do love me. So i put on my big girl pants, found a smile and cried in the quiet darkness.

Life is truly about finding the joy in the moments and living in that joy. The world is full of black nothingness but i will not live there. I will find the light and live there. I have no desire to hide in the shadows again. So for now i am sending my girl all of the love the world has and hope she finds her own path to the sunshine.

How I knew i was loved

Trust me when i tell you i am very aware every day that i am loved. But there are those defining moments that you never forget. When i was married before my then husband and i would talk about the day when we could retire and the life we wanted. When asked he would say that all he needed to be happy was a chunk of land, his truck, his dog and his hunting gear. I would look at him and ask if that was all. After a pause he would look at me and go Oh yeah and my wife. It gutted me every time.

Now here we are years later and i am remarried. Life every day is good. So driving down the road my husband, my king, realizes he has no lighter. this is tragic in his world. I pull one out of my pocket and laughingly ask him what he would do without me. He response melted my heart. I would be a wreck, living in the poor house, a shell of a human with an alcoholic girlfriend working 2 jobs. No i would just die. That is what my life would be without you.

How time changes and how great it is to be so loved.

This life

I never imagined i would be living this life. And before you go running off down some rabbit hole let me say this life is good. Yes there have been some rough moments but this is the nature of things.

I am not sure what i thought life would be like. My parents certainly did not have the white picket fence life. But somewhere in my 19 year old brain that is what i thought marriage was. By the time my daughter came when i was 21 it was clear picket fences were not in the cards. Hard work was on tap and my career was moving forward. My marriage was dying but i thought that if i worked hard and made things financially easier the marriage would rebound. It didn’t.

So here i am days past my 47th birthday on marriage number 2. Living  a life that i never imagined. Being loved every day by a man 10 years younger. We see the world through different glasses but somehow it works. There is a balance to life that feels good. I see big change in the wind. I think it has its good and bad points but i know that we will sit down and talk it all out. It could mean some changes in how we live life but change is what causes growth and that is always a good thing.

Is life perfect? Hell no. Nothing in life is. I am not even sure what perfect looks like. But i do know that things are as close to perfect as they could ever be. And i am choosing to live happy. To embrace the changes that come and to see the sun even on a cloudy day.

Thank you my King for being my sun.

blessed

He knows me better than anyone ever has. He sees everything and misses nothing. This morning he looked at me and asked me whats wrong. I don’t really know. It is nothing big just little things. My body hurts in ways it has not and that has me unsettled. My car is in the shop and i am driving a rental that is way to fancy and i just want my car back. I am moving bank accounts and rescheduling payments and i hate that process. Change has become the enemy of my peaceful mind. My daughter is still not talking to me and some days it rips out my heart. Her birthday and my own are days away and that has created sadness. I need to clean the carpets at home. It is the little stresses that add up sometimes and make me feel overwhelmed.

The only way i keep my shit together is the fact that my King loves me in ways i have never known. In every conversation with other people i understand just how wonderful of a man i have. I have always seen the best qualities in him. The ones he does not seem to know he has. But others see them as well. I know that in a heart beat another woman would happily take my place. It makes me a proud wife to know people love him and see all of the goodness in him. It also makes me very aware that i have to stay on my toes because if i were to take even a half step back there would be a line of women waiting to take my place. How i got so lucky i will never know.

I am going to work my way through the changes one piece at a time. Lots of deep breaths on the paper work and it will all work out and once sorted life will actually be easier. As for my daughter i can only love her until she chooses to talk to me again. And i know i can lean on the love of my King until that day.

I am looking forward to my birthday. We are taking a couple of days to just be together and relax and i need it to help clear my mind. I just want peace. I want to be able to enjoy the blessings in my life. I want the anxiety level to return to the place where i can breath easier and be in THIS moment instead of living in the worry. But with him by my side always holding my hand i know it will all be ok.

I love you my king. there will never be enough ways to show you, to tell you, to let you know the goodness and love you have brought into my life.

Mothers day and our 2nd Anniversary

This year the holiday was hard because my daughter is still not talking to me. Not even a text on the day. But my King made it all worthwhile. We spent 3 days at the lake fishing. There is some deep peace i find when he and i are together sharing this life we love. Shutting out all of the noise of the world. Our next adventure will be a holiday weekend at the ranch. For that one we can take the dogs and that will be wonderful.

There is so much fun having naughty outdoor sex. I am so grateful to have this man in my life. He is my perfect match in every way.  Now i just need to get a handle on the mess in my house. My business is doing well, loving my new location and working with old dear friends.  If i could just repair the damage with my child things would be perfect.

Love, Life, Weddings and Weekends

Some times in life you just have to stop and really take it all in. Tomorrow some dear friends are getting married. They  have had many challenges but they bring out the best in each other. The groom has told me more than once that he decided to take the leap because he saw the happiness my king and i share. We all have had the training marriages. And  we all had plenty of reason to never do that again. But love will always find a way. Happiness is there if you just choose it. So tomorrow we will choose happiness again. And then on the 15th my King and i will celebrate our 2nd anniversary. I am happier than ever because every day i choose it. And i am blessed in this life to have a man who also chooses to be happy even when things are hard. So smile, face the sun, dance in the rain and choose. Choose to be happy even when life is shit.

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